top of page
Writer's picturecamordini

The cure for boring small talk ...



A couple of times a year, I join in a firepit gathering across the street. I meet the same neighbors, who I only see those two times a year. I recall that half of them are Army and the others Navy, but which is which? Two of the girls running around belong to- Army or Navy? and are those the same boys from last year or their friends?


It can be challenging to get to know people in these infrequent purely social settings.

But it turns out they are the perfect setting to test the Villaging waters.

Tonight, I am going to find out what hobbies folks are into, instead of trying to memorize their resume's.


I am going to throw out the idea of planting a kids pumpkin patch in the spring, and find out who is interested in growing food or joining me for some sewing.


Bonus: people are going to want to talk about inflation, gas prices, even climate change. These are important issues, but they can also be dividers. Look for the connectors first, establish what you have in common before diving into the dividers. A Village has people of all kids of different beliefs and quirks. Some can be pretty annoying. That is why we establish the connection through doing first.


There is no purity test for Villaging. There is no requirement to be growing food for the same reason, with the same beliefs, and all the related assumptions for this tribe or that tribe. Those tribal identities can be positive, but our goal is a village identity, where we work together because we value .... working together.


Around the firepit tonight, I probably won't even mention "villaging." No one knows what it is yet anyway. I just want to see what people are up to- are interested in. I am listening for the phrase, "I always wanted to try making _____" and pick up that thread.


I am encouraging myself to be bold, which can feel like being vulnerable. What if no one else wants to grow food? What if they make fun of "farmers" and homesteaders? I just move on, and keep planting seeds. Ideas will grow, and eventually some connections will be made.


How about you? Share in the comments what you want to connect on, and come back and let us know how it goes.

3 views0 comments

Comments


bottom of page